The dirtiest Tinkerbell fanfic out there
by Blade of Gallade
Summary: Danny's your average teenage fairy living a crappy life. That is until he meets a blonde fairy from a parallel world. Things really got messed up after that.
1. Skip if you hate intros

**WARNING!**

 **This fanfic contains both strong language, and a whole lot of scat. Now I may just be over exaggerating, but in any case, read at your own risk.**

It was your everyday morning in Autumn when Danny, a male fairy around his mid teens awoke to the sound of someone throwing rocks at the window of his mushroom-like house. He pulled himself out of his bed and immediately threw on a regular grey T-shirt, before heading outside to see just what all the commotion was. He looked out past the ledge of his home to see a short male fairy standing in the grass just below Danny's home.

"The hell do you want Titus?" He asked while stretching and yawning, clearly uninterested in whatever the fairy had to say at 6 AM on a Saturday

"You need to go help my dad out with the preparations, remember?" Replied Titus, pointing in the direction of numerous other mushroom shaped homes in the midst of the tall grass.

"What preparations? You're gonna have to be a lot more specific than that." Said Danny as he brushed a hand through his dark hair, squinting his eyes at the bright sunrise.

Titus pinched the bridge of his nose and mumbled something to himself before looking back up at Danny, "You're supposed to help with the preparations for the astral festival tonight! Remember?"

"Oh yeah... That. Just gimmie a sec to get right on to that.." Danny came down the small steps in front of his home, and headed down into the village, but not before quickly turning around and giving the short Titus a front wedgie, then running off into the village laughing to himself.

Titus immediately yelled "SON OF A BI-

Danny walked through the stone road of the village just as the other fairies began to wake up, walking by silently before he was stopped by a much larger fairy wearing a blacksmith's apron, and with the facial expression of a boss seconds away from firing a worker.

"Late. 15 minutes late, Daniel" Said the large man, pointing at an old clock on the wall, "You know this festival's the most important of the year, everyone from all around gather to celebrate!"

"Well y'know Cliff, I bet having an alarm clock would get me here on time, but I cant afford one unless I get A FREAKIN' RAISE!" Came Danny angrily

Cliff gave Danny a hard slap on the back of his head, "Well then you just gotta work harder kid, so I need you to go find me some more ore out there, get to it.

Cliff threw a brown sac onto Danny's chest and gave him a pickax, with Danny sighing as he turned around and flew off, mumbling to himself in anger.


	2. the true beginning

It was already nightfall by the time Danny returned from mining ore for Cliff, and the village of mushroom houses was lit with glowing blue lights and countless decorations, other fairies were out and about running and dancing around, while Danny was hauling ore over to Cliff's mushroom looking like he came straight outta Compt- I mean, hell.

Danny arrived at Cliff's mushroom house dumping the bag of rocks at his front door, and picking up a note off of the door.

"Went out to celebrate, huh?" Danny crumpled up the small parchment and threw it behind him, ignoring the festival going on around him and heading down the barely lit road back to his home swearing to himself. "Freakin' asshole tells me to go do his chores, doesn't even pay me in the end..."

Danny looked up at the starry sky, as blue comets passed though the sky, something pretty common during the astral festival.

"Why the fuck do I have this crappy life. I bet anything would be better than working in this hellhole.."

That was when Danny felt a loud rumble in the floor, as if it were a miniature earth quake.

"What the...?" Danny looked further down the dirt road and glided in the direction he felt the vibrations came from.

Danny arrived at a large crater in the middle of the tall grass, with a faint blue glow coming from it

"Hey... Is that.." Danny jumped down the crater to find another fairy lying in the pit. However, she was not a fairy from Danny's homeland, she was in a dress made of leaves, and had short blonde hair.


	3. Chapter 3

After finding the blonde fairy in the middle of the woods, that night Danny carried her back to his house in an effort to find out who she was.

"Well that's fucking great, now I've got an unconscious fairy in my house." Danny whispered to himself as he placed the fairy girl on his couch. Judging by the beaten condition of her clothes, Danny could tell she had been through a lot. "Okay, now I just gotta get a doctor or someth-" Suddenly Danny heard a shuffling noise coming from behind him, and he immediately turned around to find the fairy girl sitting up on his couch, staring at him with a completely blank expression.

She had bright blue eyes, red lips, and an innocent face. Danny couldn't help but slightly blush at her staring at him, but what had really caught his attention was the fairy girl's rather wide hips, teasing his imagination as to the size of her behind.

"Uhh... Who are you...?" Asked Danny shyly, trying to act normal.

"..." The fairy girl attempted to speak, but Danny could not hear anything, almost as if she had been put on mute.

Suddenly, Danny heard a loud rumbling, and the fairy girl began to keel over on the couch, holding her stomach.

"Oh, y-you must be starving after being out there so long." Said Danny sheepishly, hurrying over to his fridge and taking out some pastries he had leftover. "Here... You need these.." He said, handing the pastries to the fairy girl, who in response only turned her head and pushed the Pastries back to Danny, with her other arm still wrapped around her rumbling stomach. "I don't know what's wrong... They're not stale... Aren't you supposed to be hungry?" He asked in confusion.

The fairy girl jumped up from the couch and began hopping in place with her arms around her stomach, which growled once more, and to Danny's complete surprise, the fairy girl had even let out a small fart. The scent being as horrible as she was cute.

 **"Oh... OH."** Danny suddenly had a realization as to why the girl's stomach was growling, and it certainly wasn't from hunger. "I have a bathroom just down there if you need to u-"

Danny turned back around to see the fairy girl puffing her cheeks out as if she was holding her breath, and ever so slightly leaning forward. Before he could do anything, Danny began to hear the sound of something being squished out, followed by the sound of something landing on his carpeted floor, and a horrible odor filling the air, with the fairy girl letting her face relax with a goofy smile.

Danny leaned to the side, and sitting right behind the fairy girl was what appeared to be a pile of shit, albeit it was a dark, glittering shade of purple.

Danny looked on dumbfounded as he watched the fairy girl continue to poop on his carpet, with small, wet farts occasionally escaping her large behind. At this point Danny would normally attack someone who just used his living room as a bathroom, but he just sighed instead, knowing that the girl was still innocent.

"...So...I think the first thing on my list of chores is deciding what the hell to do with you next..." Danny mumbled to himself, trying not to choke on the horrid stench filling the room.

Just as quickly as she had gotten up, the fairy girl yawned and lied back down onto Danny's couch, cuddling a pillow before falling asleep, her butt-crack still un-wiped and glittering purple.

"But before I deal with you... This is first..." Danny whispered, covering his mouth and looking down at the large mushy turd on his carpet.


	4. Chapter 4

It was Sunday, the day Danny has absolutely no work he has to worry about, and it was just before noon when he had awakened to the sound of chatter in his living room. Moaning, Danny hauled himself out of his bed, opened his window to allow light into the room and put on a sleeveless shirt, heading to the door.

Danny opened the door, entering the living room to find that the fairy girl was no longer in her spot on the couch, and the leftover pastries were no more but crumbs on a plate now. The closest thing to her "accident" on the floor was just a barely visible purple stain on the carpet. Danny turned his head to find the fairy girl sitting on the carpet, directly in front of the TV pressing all the buttons on it, flicking through channels as if she had never seen something like it before.

"Hey" Danny said as he tapped her on the shoulder. The fairy girl immediately gasped and jumped back, her hands over her mouth as the two stared each other down.

Then came the sound of running water, and before long the shocked fairy girl was sitting in a puddle of urine.

"Jesus Chri- YOU KNOW, you've overstayed your welcome" Danny said angrily as he got out paper towels and threw them towards the fairy girl, who only looked on confused. "Just eat whatever until I get back, 'cause you're out of here when I do" Danny threw open the door and flew towards the village, the fairy girl still left behind in the living room, going back to exploring the bizarre room.

"Dan, I didn't see you at the festival last night" Said Titus, trying to catch up with his much more athletic friend, "You didn't get sucked into another dimension, did you?"

"Wait, what are you talking about?" Asked Danny, as he slowed down his flight

"Well you heard the rumors right?"" Asked Titus, "They say that during the astral festival, the different worlds of our existence all come their very closest to one another, so close that they say the vortexes in the sky are portals leading to other worlds. I was just wondering if you happened to get sucked into one is all."

At that point Danny immediately realized who the fairy girl was, or rather where she had came from, a different reality. Wherever she was from it must have been a much less developed world, judging by her curiosity in his items. Now all that was left was to figure out how she had lost her voice from getting sucked through dimensions.

"Ok... So... Say I did meet someone from a different reality... When do you think I'd be able to... I dunno... Throw them back through one of the vortexes...?" Asked Danny, trying to remain cool

"Well It would be the next astral festival of course." Titus immediately pulled out a long scroll, scribbling something down on it with a small pencil "Which should be in... 20 years" He said confidently.

 _ **"WHAT?"**_ Asked Danny, who was in complete shock from the idea of having to spend another 20 years with a fairy who's only talent was constantly relieving herself on his floor. "You mean to tell me Its not happening like, next year or anything like that?"

"Hell no." Said Titus very relaxed, "The astral festival works like an eclipse, we gotta predict it years before we actually celebrate the occasion." Titus sighed as he then began gliding off in the other direction, clearly mumbling " _Dumbass"_ Under his breath.

Without any hope left in him, Danny levitated down to the floor, and immediately turned around, heading back home defeated. Danny took the long way that evening, arriving at his Mushroom home during the sunset. Before he had a chance to climb up the steps of his house, he saw a large shadow fly over his head.

"Is that... The girl..?" Danny asked himself as he watched this shadow above him.

Before anything else could happen, the fairy girl stopped mid flight, and fell to the ground, directly on top of Danny. He opened his eyes and his nostrils were immediately filled with a horrendous scent, one that was all to familiar as well. Danny then realized that the fairy girl was on top of him, and his head was stuck directly between her large butt cheeks, the source of that smell. Danny struggled but to no avail, as he could tell the slimy feeling of her cheeks was a clear sign she had just pooped _somewhere_ in his house. Finally he freed himself from the fairy girl's behind.

"FUCKING HELL!" Danny shouted to himself, trying to wipe the slimy purple glitter off his face, and then reared his head over to the blonde fairy, who looked at him knowing he was extremely pissed off.

"..." She still could not speak, but from the slightly scared way she was looking at him Danny could tell she once again meant no harm.

"*Sigh*" Danny lowered his head, pointed at the fairy girl then pointed to his house. She nodded then headed back into his house. "I've got another 20 years of this shit... Literally..." Danny thought to himself, the smell of his face making his eyes water, "First, I need a shower, and second.." He looked towards his house, "There's gonna be a few changes around here.."


	5. Chapter 5

Monday morning, and the village was just waking up. Danny was inside his home, sitting on his couch eating some Frosted Flakes, you know, 'cause _**they're grreat**_. The fairy girl was asleep next to him, her fuming butt pointed directly at him while he watched the television. Danny was eating quietly, trying his very hardest not to wake her up out of the fear that he may surprise her and be forced to buy a clean couch.

"I swear... All this chick knows how to do is eat sleep and enjoy bowel movements... At least she hasn't broken the TV.." Danny then looked at her wings, which were both badly damaged. "I don't understand what she was thinking trying to fly yesterday... Her wings must've been damaged from entering our world... This is some reeaal Kingdom Hearts shit going on.." Danny thought to himself.

At that moment Danny had remembered his experience having his head up the fairy girl's butt, and the even worse sensation of her poop being slathered around his face. Danny was confused to whatever he was feeling, as he couldn't help but feel slightly aroused at the sight of her large, unwiped behind directly next to him- But he soon caught himself, because **_those are some nasty thoughts._** Yet Danny then remembered that he had work, and quickly jumped up from the couch and placed his bowl in his sink, but the moment he opened the door he heard more shuffling coming from behind him, and turned to find the fairy girl awake, rubbing her eyes before looking at Danny with an innocent smile.

"Great... Now you're awake..." He sighed, placing his face in the palm of his hand. "Look, I don't have any time to baby you, I've got work today, so I need you to stay here, and not do anything stupid"

Danny sped over to a cupboard, rummaging through clothes before pulling out some white underwear and placing it in the fairy girl's hands, who looked at him in confusion.

"Here, put these on so I don't have to worry about anymore accidents on my floor." Danny ordered, as the fairy girl just tilted her head to the side.

"Oh my god..." Danny whispered to himself as he face-palmed again.

Swallowing his pride he took back the underwear from the fairy girl, lifting her legs and placing the underwear on her himself, trying his hardest not to make himself smell nasty. The fairy girl then stood and adjusted the underwear, looking quite uncomfortable as if she had never worn a pair before.

"There, now don't leave the house, just watch TV or eat something in the fridge. I hope you don't mess anything up in here." And right after that Danny had closed the door of his house, flying off towards the village and to Cliff's mushroom house.

"Late. an hour late Daniel" Cliff said, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"Its not like I really want to be here in the first place." Danny stated, not having gotten any sleep the night before, having instead been showering the entire time in an attempt to remove the un-godly odor from his face.

Cliff gave Danny another well deserved slap on the back of the head before speaking.

"You ain't got anything else out there but me, and this job, kid." He stated blatantly "You need the money, and I need a hard worker, and without me all that awaits you out there is _a steaming pile of shit called life"_

Danny shuddered at that phrase, imagining only what condition his house would be in after returning home.

"Now today I need you to gather a special kind of ore, 'cause I've got a big request to fill" Cliff took out a scroll with a map of the woods on it" They're called the seasonal diamonds, legend has it they change colors with each season, being autumn, you'd likely find orange diamonds out there." Cliff then handed Danny his satchel and pickax, turning him around and pushing him out of his mushroom, "Be careful out there kid, to find that stuff you're gonna need to go into Caster's graveyard" And with that he shut his door.

Danny's heart sank, Caster's graveyard was a swamp famous for taking people in, but only letting piles of bones out. One one side he faced possible death from the most dangerous swamp in the lands, and on the other side he faced 20 years dealing with a fairy girl in possession of an equally dangerous swamp. Sighing, Danny turned and began walking down the pathway to Caster's graveyard, when he noticed something else making his heart sink, it was the fairy girl, playing around with the other children of the village.

Danny immediately ran over to her grabbing her by the arm, and pulled her behind a mushroom house.

" **THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?"** He asked angrily, trying to keep his voice low.

"..." The fairy girl was still silent, looking at him with another innocent tilt of her head, the only sound he heard was that of a small fart emerging from her large butt cheeks.

Danny then realized that he didn't have his door locked, so she could have left whenever she wanted to.

"Look, I'm on an important job right now, can you plleeaaassse go back to the house?" He asked quietly.

Without a word the fairy girl shook her head as if to say "no" and embraced Danny tightly, implying she wished to go with him on his work day.

Sighing, Danny managed to separate her from his abdomen, and turned in the direction of Caster's Graveyard once again, now with the fairy girl following right beside him, skipping and humming to herself with a joyful smile on her face.

"My my Danny, who's this pear shaped beauty you got here?" Asked Titus, who was just coming down another dirt road. "And heading out to Caster's Graveyard? either you're ready to die or you're looking for a place the two of you can be alone." Titus said jokingly.

"Shut the fuck up muffin top" Said Danny, rustling Titus' hair until it covered his eyes. "I'm on a job"

"Oh suuuuuurre you are, that's what they all say Daniel!" Titius yelled as Danny and the fairy girl headed further down the dark path to Caster's Graveyard.


	6. Caster's Graveyard 1

Danny and the fairy girl had arrived in Caster's graveyard, and it was as horrible as all the legends told. There was a thick green mist covering the area and the water looked more like a pit of bubbling magma. The whole area was wet and the air was polluted with mosquitoes, but they were nothing to worry about, as Danny noticed the only thing that peaked their interest was the yet unwiped behind of the fairy girl, but since she was wearing underwear now, she was completely oblivious to the cloud of mosquitoes following her.

"Okay, so apparently there should be some of those diamonds down this path..." Danny said out loud while looking at a tunnel completely covered in vines.

Danny then began to rip the vines away with his bare hands before one of them lashed back, hitting him in the chest and sending him into a tree, he then fell on the floor silent.

The fairy girl looked on in shock, as the moving vines turned over to her, and began moving forward. The fairy girl quickly jumped over to Danny and began to shake him frantically, but he didn't get up. Soon she had to jump again in order to dodge one of the lunging vines, but was soon cornered between the monstrous plants and the swamp on the other side. She covered her eyes in fear before Danny had finally woken up, picking up the lantern he had taken into the swamp and throwing it at the roots of the vines, burning them and opening up the tunnel in one large flame.

"Well that was... Painful.." Danny coughed, trying not to collapse again. "Wait..." Danny sniffed the air, and it was no longer the scent of a swamp, but one far worse, and he knew just what it was.

" _ **you"**_ Danny said, looking directly at the fairy girl, who in response lifted her short skirt to reveal a large purple stained bulge in the back of her underwear, which after Danny heard another loud squishing sound, the bulge grew even larger.

"This is the WORST possible time for this y'know?" Danny said angrily as he pulled the fairy girl into the tunnel, which was barely passable due to the blinding amount of mosquitoes now following them. "All these fucking mosquitoes are your fault dammit"

"..." The fairy girl was again silent, but shook her head in disagreement, pointing to her underwear as if to say it was Danny's fault.

The mosquitoes had grown too bothersome at that point, and sighing, Danny knew what he had to do next.

Lying the fairy girl down like an infant, Danny removed the heavy underwear from her, lumps of glittering purple shit weighing it down, he wondered where someone as innocent as her could keep all of that stuff. It was even worse than the first day he met her, it was somehow even softer, as if he was holding a bag filled with honey. He threw it away in the other direction of the tunnel, with all of the bugs following it.

The fairy girl got up looking much happier that she no longer needed the underwear, letting out a small fart which sprayed a small purple cloud behind her.

"Okay lets just finish this stuff before you fucking shit yourself again" Danny said, clearly annoyed as he continued down the tunnel with the fairy girl skipping behind him.


	7. Caster's Graveyard 2

It was getting dark, and judging by their position on the map, Danny and the blonde fairy girl were not even close to the diamonds of seasons Cliff wanted Danny to gather.

" It wouldn't be a good idea to keep going on like this, unless we wanna get ambushed by more killer plants on the way" Danny said, resting his bag on the ground and taking supplies out, "Our best option would be to set up camp." Danny began to strike two rocks against each other and soon he had a small fire.

The fairy girl jumped happily, and Danny relaxed at knowing that at least she knew what camping was. She soon began helping Danny, and the two had a tent set up before too long.

"Well, I guess this is dinner for us." Danny said, taking out a few things he had packed along, and due to his horrible paying job working for Cliff, all he had was a (now stale) pastry, some fruits he had planned to eat for lunch, and _no camping trip would be complete without your can of beans and a spoon!_ Danny heated the beans over the fire before eating, while he left the fairy girl to eat up whatever else she thought looked good.

"...What?" Danny asked with a mouthful as the fairy girl nudged closer to him on the ground, sniffing the beans he was eating and then looking back at him. "No. No, no, a thousand times no."

Danny knew about what beans did to people, and from what he's seen of the girl up to that point, giving her the beans would be a death wish. Sighing, the fairy girl went back to eating the other foods, while Danny scarfed the beans down in an attempt to get rid of them as soon as possible.

Before long, Danny found himself within the tent with the fairy girl right next to him, and trying to avoid her as well as possible, he immediately pretended to fall asleep. And it was a terrible idea. The fairy girl went to sleep as well, but in the other direction, and her massive (yet still dirty) ass was pointed directly at his face. Whenever Danny would be drifting off to sleep the fairy girl would occasionally let out silent farts, each of which would instantly awaken Danny once the stench hit his face.

Before he felt as if he'd murder the fairy girl, she finally had readjusted herself, giving Danny a breath of fresh air. Yet after that she began snuggling up to Danny like a scared animal. While shocked at first, Danny accepted the hug, and he felt for once he didn't mind the girl's company, before long they were both fast asleep.

"...hhuh...?" Danny groaned as it was just the crack of dawn, and he awoke to find the fairy girl adjusting herself again. "What're you...?.." Danny mumbled as she kept moving, but he couldn't care less and was soon falling back to sleep. That was when he felt something quite heavy on top of him, and opened his eyes to be greeted again by the large ass of the fairy girl, who was squatting right over his torso. Danny knew for sure that at that moment the tightness he felt in his pants was not just morning wood. Ignoring it, he wondered if he was still asleep or not, but soon he wished he was.

With just a single grunt followed by a sigh of relief, the large butt cheeks of the fairy girl soon gave way to a purple mudslide of her poop, and almost instinctively, Danny lifted the still excreting fairy girl off of his now dirty torso and out of the tent, dropping the confused fairy girl on the ground who looked at him, but after a second had resumed her session of pooping, her custard-like fecal matter coiling on the exact spot the fire was the night before. Danny, literally red with fury was about to give the fairy girl another rowing when she suddenly stopped, the two looking at each other wide eyed as a low grumble was heard in the fairy girl's stomach, who immediately jumped up and began moving slowly with one hand covering her dirty backside.

Danny turned and looked at what remained of the fruits last night in an attempt to find some clues as to this sudden emergency, and there it was among the fruits.

"Dates" Danny said to himself with a sudden realization as to why the fairy girl's backside was erupting in such a fashion.

That was when Danny had heard a very loud splash, and turned to see the fairy girl squatting over the swamp, sighing of relief as something large had just finished bubbling away in the murky water.

Looking around at a campsite that was just practically wrecked with the feces of one girl, Danny turned his furious gaze to her, while the fairy girl was blissfully releasing a couple more of her purple turds into the murky swamp.


End file.
